I have a shopping addiction
My newest obsession is creating bundles on Vinted, bargaining, and quietly ghosting the vendors because I remember I need to stop spending money.
In a world full of crisis, why is it that all I can focus on is consumption? I can’t stop spending money on pointless things, hobbies I pick up and forget, clothes I buy and regret, endlessly indulging and then hating myself for it. Shaming myself for wanting the things, while simultaneously creating the urge/yearn for said things, because well, they’re pretty and I have to have them!
This reminded me of a conversation I had with my roomie the other day. As humans, we simultaneously create the problems and the solutions to solve those problems. We are consistently and constantly finding things to worry about or solve, and we live for it. Is it our ego that creates the problems so our ego can also solve said problems?
An example from my shopping addiction: I see that I don’t have a ribbed knit brown fur zip up jacket, naturally I need to have it. I see a girl on Vinted wearing it in one of her pics selling a skirt, ofc it’s not for sale, so I ask her where its from cause im in love with it etc etc. She says H&M. So i go searching for said fur zip up jacket everywhere. Hunter gathering vibes. IamGia has one, so does Jaded London in various variations for 100-250 euros price range. Nah. I may be a shopaholic, but I’m a stingy one. I’m searching for the high of the thrill of getting a great deal. I want the fashion and lore and style of course, but on a budget. Hence the Vinted addiction.
Which I guess is a better alternative to fast fashion or high-end brand shopping when I’m allegedly house poor1. Anyways, I found the brown fur zip-up jacket and she’s so cute. She popped up on the mosaic of fur coats, a sweet brown color, buckled standing collar, zip-up front, and of course, ribbed knit hems 😍. I loved her and she had to be mine. She was only 15 euros! I of course requested the seller if I could have it for 13 (lmao). I know, HAHA. She of course said no, so I went for the the already reasonably priced 15. Still waiting for her to arrive as of today but maybe she’ll be here by the time this gets posted.2
Anyways, for a bit of background. I survived the mild rainy windy winter here in Paris without a puffer jacket or solid/real winter coat! Which of course left room for me to fill my oh-so-needy void. An excuse to shop for new/thrift one! 😍 So yes, I’m embarassed to admit this isn’t the first (nor last) jacket I’ve bought on Vinted this winter. I had a love affair with a sage green puffer that turned out to be way too cropped to be a proper puffer jacket for winter, and then a shaggy white fur coat that was meant to fulfill my 70s shaggy rocker chic pinterest princess fantasy. She’s cute - but the collarless neckline is ‘throwing me off’ - another excuse to get a new jacket! Why am I like this? I think I might know… we could psychoanalyze my childhood and life experiences to further understand why… but let’s look at the bigger picture for a sec...
I keep buying things and getting disappointed, which leads to buying more things, and thus left with a pile of things that I don’t know what to do with anymore. Ugh. But I love archival and collection! I love styling n fashion! I just need a better way of vetting the stuff I buy, making sure it fits, and streamlining reselling it (this is me reasoning with my addiction). It’s so hard to sell stuff on Vinted tho when everyone wants to make money off of their stuff so its priced higher, but then everyone buying wants the best deal so they bargain for lower. No one wants to spend money on anything anymore. The true cost of stuff gets so lost n warped because of fast fashion, we think that a knitted sweater should cost 5 euros without thinking about the hours of work and energy it took to make (even if it’s machine knitted).
After writing this first bit I received a fitting Tik Tok on my feed (thank you algorithm gods and recommendation system universe 😻 ).
The Tik Tok by @mustbemargiela is a POV video of them on a date but they’re distracted by their Grailed lowball offers on items getting accepted. Basically a bougier version of Vinted bundles. The discourse in the comments made me feel seen ngl haha. Chasing the thrill of bargaining for items for cheap and then the offer getting accepted and not actually wanting to spend money on it. Is our generation not only emotionally unavailable but also monetarily unavailable? 💀😵. It’s comforting to know I’m not only one with serious spending issues, after all we do live in a capitalist society with icons like Marge Simpson who say things like, “It’ll be good for the economy”.
Maybe I shouldn’t rationalize everything… it is my compulsion to do so, however.
I grew up in a fashion-forward, style-conscious family. My dad would tell my brother and I to be the ‘shopping police’ for my mom growing up - to make sure she wouldn’t spend too much. My mom is the best shopper I know (she used to own a vintage clothing store so she gets it), but she’s also who I probably learned all this impulse buying from (love you mama😜). And my dad embedded his penny-saving mindset into me. Thus my addiction of choice: bargain shopping.
It’s a gift and a curse. I like to say its for archival purposes (cause yeah). And in the same fashion (pun intended) we could say that Pinterest (an archival platform itself) is also a form on consumption and collection. Don’t get me wrong. I eat that ish up! But… the consistent consumption of content - especially content that fills me with the deep urge and longing to own and have it for myself - isn’t the healthiest to say the least. I love consuming, I’ll always shop and collect in this life probably. But creating is definitely the goal. As well as sustainability. Sustainable shopping? It’s plausible. I question whether it’s feasible to be consistent and disciplined with it tho.
Looking at recycling and upcycling clothes - there is so much stuff on the planet already, it’s true we need to stop adding more piles of fabric onto the already overfilled landfill… are we strong enough to suppress our desire for new to be able to counteract the mass amount of excess clothing on our planet? I’m not too sure. Having worked for a fast fashion company before, and given that these companies prey on the constant shift and changes in fashion trends and items for customers to collect and continue consuming, I’m not sure if we’re all aware of what we’re up against.
We’re out of touch with how much things cost to be made. The Rana Plaza tragedy was one of the first times the west was confronted with the monster we created. I think that might be a key piece of the consumption cake. That and understanding we don’t always need to have the hot commodity or hyperfixation of the week/month/year.
Look at Bershka feeding off the ‘Leopard print’ trend for instance: (re. my rant on tikkytok)
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This phenomenon makes sense. We created this constant consumption marketing cycle merry-go-round that we (those who subscribe to the pop culture trends) can’t seem to get off. And we can’t blame these brands, designers, and marketing people for just trying to make a living and stay relevant and hit their OKRs. Even if that means feeding off of the collective consumption urges… it’s in our blood! There’s been a lot of talk online already about the niche fatigue and fashion aesthetics that have taken over our collective feeds. The whole sales / marketing world is funny to me - working in these fields rn I realize how we tiptoe on the fine line between manipulation and persuasion every day…
So I did what any overstimulated person would do, I hopped on chat gpt and consulted the holy automated response-giver, keeper of unlimited internet knowledge, machine. I asked, “i have a shopping addiction, what can i do to stop?”.
They said:
Recognizing that you have a shopping addiction is a crucial first step, and seeking help is commendable. Here are some steps you can take to address and overcome your shopping addiction:
Acknowledge the Issue: Admitting that you have a shopping addiction is the first and most important step. Understand the negative impact it may be having on your life, relationships, and finances.
Seek Professional Help: Consider consulting with a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, who specializes in addiction. They can help you explore the root causes of your shopping addiction and develop coping strategies.
Create a Budget: Establish a realistic budget and stick to it. This will help you manage your finances more effectively and limit impulsive spending.
Track Your Spending: Keep a record of your expenses to identify patterns and triggers for your shopping behavior. This awareness can help you make more informed decisions about your spending habits.
Set Financial Goals: Establish specific financial goals for yourself, such as saving for a vacation, paying off debt, or building an emergency fund. Focusing on these goals can redirect your energy away from unnecessary spending.
Avoid Temptation: Unsubscribe from email newsletters, unfollow shopping-related social media accounts, and limit your exposure to advertisements. This can reduce the temptation to make impulsive purchases.
Find Alternative Activities: Identify healthy and fulfilling activities that can replace shopping. Consider hobbies, exercise, socializing, or volunteering as alternatives to fill your time and provide a sense of accomplishment.
Build a Support System: Share your struggle with close friends or family members who can offer support and encouragement. Having a strong support system is crucial in overcoming addiction.
Consider a Support Group: Joining a support group, either in person or online, can connect you with others facing similar challenges. Hearing their experiences and sharing your own can be a valuable part of the recovery process.
Educate Yourself: Learn more about the psychology of consumerism, marketing techniques, and the impact of materialism on well-being. This knowledge can empower you to make more conscious choices.
Remember that overcoming a shopping addiction is a process that takes time and effort. Celebrate small victories, and be patient with yourself as you work towards healthier spending habits. If your addiction is causing significant distress, don't hesitate to seek professional help.
Is this conversation helpful so far?
Yes, thank you algorithm machine buddy. It did help.
I can’t promise that I won’t ever impulse buy on Vinted again… or that I won’t craft bundles and bargain for cheaper prices than necessary… but I’ll definitely be trying to buy sustainably + quality for longer wear… 😣. And step 10 especially.
What do you guys think about fashion consumption today, and any tips on how to manage over-spending?
Your time is much appreciated.
Xoxo,
Izzybelle
According to my father I am housepoor. Meaning = I put most of my monthly income into my rent.
(∼ but I’m just a girl… 🎀 she whispers in her hamster form ∼)
She has arrived, going to pick her up later today >.< (づ ◕‿◕ )づ
Excellent
You're so real for this